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If you’ve ever felt like anxiety takes over your body before your mind has a chance to catch up, you’re not imagining it. Anxiety isn’t just “in your head.” It often begins in your nervous system — and a big part of that system is something called the vagus nerve (say it like VAY-gus).
If you live in Southern Utah, you know how the extreme heat, constant go-go-go pace, and pressure to hold everything together can leave you feeling on edge. Understanding your vagus nerve allows you to work with your body instead of feeling like it’s always working against you.
Let’s break it down into everyday language, knowledge, and skills you can actually use.
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In this blog, we’ll explore how the vagus nerve impacts feeling anxious and overwhelmed. But first, let’s get really clear on what the vagus nerve is and what it does. Trust me, I’ll circle back to the emotional health stuff in just three short paragraphs. Ready? Okay.
The vagus nerve is like a communication highway between your brain and your body. It extends and reaches so many different parts and areas, it’s actually called the “wandering nerve.” The nerve starts in your brainstem, within the medulla oblongata (the part of your brain that regulates basic life-sustaining functions like heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, and digestion), and extends downward through your neck and into your chest and abdomen.
The nerve then branches out to multiple organs, including the heart, lungs, liver, spleen, stomach, intestines, and kidneys.
Wow – that’s a nerve with a big reach. Given its connection to so many vital organs, it might not surprise you that the vagus nerve helps control:
- Your heart rate
- Your breathing
- Your digestion
- And how calm (or not calm) you feel
When the vagus nerve is calm and steady, you feel more relaxed, clear-headed, and able to cope. When it’s overwhelmed, you can feel anxious, tense, or even frozen and shut down.
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Women often carry invisible pressure — to stay “nice,” stay strong, keep it together, not fall apart. If you’re a parent, you’ve probably been inundated with the popular idea that you should always be calm so you can coregulate your child mid-tantrum or bedtime meltdown. Ugh.
All this day-to-day pressure adds up. And it can make your nervous system feel like it’s always under threat — even if nothing dangerous is actually happening.
Personally, just this past week (it’s late May at the time I’m writing this), I felt like I was drowning in a summer-camp planning tsunami. I was balancing which camps, on which days, in which months would work for my kids… and which camps my neuro-spicy child was most likely to get kicked out of.. And which grandparent would have to do an emergency pick-up (or else I’d cancel clients – ugh!). Not surprisingly, I found myself on a random Wednesday night binging and eating cookies with whipped cream, feeling restless, detached from my husband, and unable to sleep. My nervous system was shot. Totally shot.
When we care for the vagus nerve, we’re not just calming the body. We’re telling the whole system: “You’re safe now. You can exhale.”
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Okay, so now we know that the vagus nerve is big. Like, really, really big. And it’s both an information highway between your brain and many of your essential organs… and it communicates to your whole body whether you feel safe or not, whether you can relax or not.
With this in mind, let’s cover five essential things you should know to work with your vagus nerve as you master your anxiety and overwhelm.
- Your Body Talks First — Not Your Thoughts
Your body often feels anxious before your mind knows why. Some call this intuition. Others call it a gut feeling. Regardless, our eyes, ears, skin, nose and so much more are working all the time, scanning for information about your environment without you even having to think of it. These senses are what communicate to your brain first, and then you’re trained to translate that information into thoughts about safety. So if your vagus nerve is ‘stuck in the on position’ or is sensitive from past trauma or burnout, your body is likely to interpret much more stuff as unsafe – leading you to feel anxious, overwhelmed and irritable.
👉 You can’t always “think” your way out — but you can calm your body to help calm your mind.
- Breathing Slowly Is a Superpower
Breathing out longer than you breathe in sends a “calm down” signal through the vagus nerve. Remember the last tip; You can’t always “think” your way out of stress. This is why I’m not recommending affirmations or journaling here (although those are great and have a time and place in my own self-care tool box). First, we have to talk to the body. And nothing says “Hey Body!” more than breathing.
👉 One of my favorite breathing patterns to calm the vagus nerve is to:
- inhale for 4 seconds…
- hold for 6…
- exhale for 8.
If you’re new to breath work, try inhaling for 4 seconds and exhaling for 6. You can work your way into breath work slowly. This kind of breath work should feel like a slow, gentle and brief (just a minute or two) quiet moment in your day.
- Cold Water Can Help… in Gentle Doses
Cool water on your face or neck can stimulate the vagus nerve and help your body reset. Why does this work? Cold water on the face or neck causes a reflex. It’s no different than when the doctor taps your knee with that little hammer and your foot kicks up a bit. When you get the cold water on your face a reflex happens that ‘kicks up’ your vagus nerve (toning it) and moves you into a state of rest and digest.
👉 You don’t need an ice bath — just a washcloth or cool splash is enough.
- Humming and Singing Are Science-Backed Soothers
Your vagus nerve passes through your throat — humming, chanting, or singing calms your system. Singing stimulates the vagus nerve through vocal cord vibrations and deep breathing, which activate muscles in the throat and larynx, ultimately influencing vagal tone.
👉 Do it in the car, in the shower, or as part of your wind-down routine. When I get my kids in the car to go to school we’ve started pretending that the car is a “party bus” – we turn the music up and sing at the top of our lungs. Everyone’s mood improves
- You Need Safe Connection to Heal
The vagus nerve thrives on connection and safety. Keep in mind this isn’t the same as social connection. So you’ll need to pay close attention to where you feel safe and where you don’t. Some people feel safe at church, but for others this is a painful, difficult space to be in. Some people feel safe with their parents or spouse, but many of my clients are coping with judgemental or narcissistic parents or partners. All that to say – consider who feels really safe and don’t default to whoever is available.
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👉 You don’t have to heal alone. Co-regulation with safe people is part of nervous
system healing. Co-regulation is a big part of what we do in therapy. It’s a safe,
nonjudgmental space to be seen, heard and guided through processes that lead you
back towards a regulated nervous system.
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If anxiety has been running the show, the vagus nerve gives you a new path.You don’t have to hustle your way to healing. This shift from survival mode into “rest and digest” is key to healing from anxiety and burnout. You can soften into it — and that’s powerful.
Supporting your vagus nerve is not about adding more to your to-do list. It’s about practicing kindness toward your body and choosing nervous system care that fits into your real, messy, beautiful life.
At Guided Wellness Counseling, we believe in healing the whole self. That means creating a space where your anxiety isn’t judged, your pain isn’t rushed, and your coping skills go deeper than a Pinterest quote.
We help you move beyond surface strategies and into get-to-the-root-of it level healing — so you can feel safer, calmer, and more in control of your life again.
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You can start by scheduling a free 15-minute consultation call. We’ll explore your needs, your goals, what has helped (and what hasn’t), and whether one of our compassionate therapists is the right fit for you.
You deserve to feel good in your body. You deserve to feel like yourself again.
Let’s take that first step together.
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