Trauma Treatment Center in St. George, UT

Betrayal Trauma Recovery

All relationships have their ups and downs. We know this and come to expect that our relationships will have seasons where we feel closer or farther apart. But what about when there is a breach of trust? How do you recover when you feel betrayed and unable to move forward? And what happens when the pain and mistrust follow you long after the betrayal occurs?

Did I Experience Betrayal Trauma?

Perhaps the betrayal happened in an earlier relationship, perhaps with a husband. And now you find yourself having difficulty trusting them. Or you find that it’s difficult trusting your new partner… even though they haven’t done anything wrong! You find yourself suspicious and over-interpreting their most innocent daily behaviors. It feels horrible that you can’t turn your brain off from the paranoia and pain. Worst yet is that while you long for a future of trust and partnership, you can’t seem to stay in a place of intimacy and confidence in yourself or your partner for very long.

In a marriage, you may find yourself having difficulty forgiving your partner and putting your faith in a future with them. Sure, you want to feel certain and committed. But it’s just so hard to get there and “let go of the past.” If your partner has apologized for the betrayal and has honestly worked to make amends, you may be questioning, “What more do I want? Why can’t I move on if they’re doing everything now to build my trust?” You’re not crazy – this is the pain and journey of recovering from betrayal trauma.

Trauma Definition And Deeper Understanding

Let’s start with a quick definition of trauma. Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event. When it comes to traumatic events, many of us imagine something like a car accident, school shooting, sexual assault, or other kinds of injury like spiritual abuse or emotional abuse and trauma. The experience of being betrayed falls into this latter category of emotional trauma.

Read More About Emotional Trauma Here

A Definition Of Betrayal Trauma

Betrayal trauma occurs when a person or an organization that you depend on goes outside your expectation of them in a way that is hurtful to you. The betrayal can include a husband, wife, or another intimate partner. It can also include a friend, boss or someone who works for you (e.g., an employee, someone who cares for your children, etc.). You may have been betrayed by an institution such as a church or health care system. Finally, it can also include a parent or caretaker, someone you depended on for your needs to be met.

We rely on these people. We trust these people. We come to depend on them and have expectations that they are trustworthy and want the best for us.

Betrayal Trauma Recovery

All relationships have their ups and downs. We know this and come to expect that our relationships will have seasons where we feel closer or farther apart. But what about when there is a breach of trust? How do you recover when you feel betrayed and unable to move forward? And what happens when the pain and mistrust follow you long after the betrayal occurs?

Did I Experience Betrayal Trauma?

Perhaps the betrayal happened in an earlier relationship, perhaps with a husband. And now you find yourself having difficulty trusting them. Or you find that it’s difficult trusting your new partner… even though they haven’t done anything wrong! You find yourself suspicious and over-interpreting their most innocent daily behaviors. It feels horrible that you can’t turn your brain off from the paranoia and pain. Worst yet is that while you long for a future of trust and partnership, you can’t seem to stay in a place of intimacy and confidence in yourself or your partner for very long.

In a marriage, you may find yourself having difficulty forgiving your partner and putting your faith in a future with them. Sure, you want to feel certain and committed. But it’s just so hard to get there and “let go of the past.” If your partner has apologized for the betrayal and has honestly worked to make amends, you may be questioning, “What more do I want? Why can’t I move on if they’re doing everything now to build my trust?” You’re not crazy – this is the pain and journey of recovering from betrayal trauma.

Trauma Definition And Deeper Understanding

Let’s start with a quick definition of trauma. Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event. When it comes to traumatic events, many of us imagine something like a car accident, school shooting, sexual assault, or other kinds of injury like spiritual abuse or emotional abuse and trauma. The experience of being betrayed falls into this latter category of emotional trauma.

Read More About Emotional Trauma Here

A Definition Of Betrayal Trauma

Betrayal trauma occurs when a person or an organization that you depend on goes outside your expectation of them in a way that is hurtful to you. The betrayal can include a husband, wife, or another intimate partner. It can also include a friend, boss or someone who works for you (e.g., an employee, someone who cares for your children, etc.). You may have been betrayed by an institution such as a church or health care system. Finally, it can also include a parent or caretaker, someone you depended on for your needs to be met.

We rely on these people. We trust these people. We come to depend on them and have expectations that they are trustworthy and want the best for us.

PTSD From Relationship Betrayal

In relationships like these, we develop trust and expectations over time. This is not wrong or bad. Expectations allow for ease in relationships and simplify day-to-day communication! Unfortunately, we can overlook or become “blind” to signs and acts of betrayal because:

• we don’t want to believe it’s happening
• we need this person or have come to depend on them
• their behavior seems like an exception rather than the rule
• we don’t think (or are told) that we don’t deserve better or
• gaslighting, shaming, or blaming has led to us thinking the betrayal is our fault

Rachel Larson, who writes on betrayal trauma for ChoosingTherapy.com, explains it this way: “[Betrayal Trauma] theory predicts that the more necessary a person or institution is deemed to be in a person’s life, the more likely there will be an “unawareness” or “blindness” to that betrayal.

How To Heal From Trauma

Recovering from betrayal trauma is critical for your wellbeing. Taking the time to share your story and invest in yourself can forever alter the future of your relationship with yourself and others. This includes a partner, your children, family, and friends. Finding a PTSD therapist or trauma-informed counselor in St. George, UT, is the first step.

At Guided Wellness Counseling, our team is well-versed in various ways to support you through your unique experience of betrayal trauma. This includes having a safe, private environment to share your story without shame or humiliation. Releasing the shame, secrecy, and humiliation will propel all your other healing efforts forward.

Learn More About Our Amazing Team

Following this, it’s essential to build healthier boundaries and learn how to communicate them to others. Using coping skills to help you identify your emotions (which might feel really muddled right now) and then release them safely is a way you can both honor your pain and reduce it. Self-care and building a variety of relationships that are meaningful to you must be integrated throughout your recovery. You’ll benefit profoundly from feeling connected to your best Self and those who want the best for you.

Therapy for Betrayal Trauma

Therapy in St. George, UT is easy and designed with self-care in mind at Guided Wellness Counseling. Our staff of PTSD therapists, trauma-informed clinicians, and EMDR trauma therapists are ready with a wide range of scheduling options. Each member of the team is skilled in helping you manage the depression, recover from anxiety, or reduce the PTSD symptoms you may be experiencing.

Your counseling experience at Guided Wellness starts with a free 15-minute phone consultation with our practice manager so we can learn a little more about your needs. On that call, we’ll identify the best therapist for your needs and schedule. Then you’ll attend your first appointment where your counselor will take a complete history of what you experienced and begin setting goals. Your healing journey will continue at a pace that works for you and includes a range of healing skills, coaching, resources, or EMDR therapy.

I AM READY TO BEGIN HEALING

The pain you are experiencing from the betrayal doesn’t have to follow you your entire life. You’ll never forget it, but it doesn’t have to feel ‘always on my mind.’ You can be more aware and informed without constantly questioning or doubting yourself and others. Healing is your birthright, and counseling can be your first step forward.